on the edge of so much bigness

I am looking out the window, past the taxidermy bird I rented from the library, at the steeple with the weather vane turning slowly.

The things I've stepped on lately have stuck onto the soles of my shoes and made my walks from class to class sticky and heavy... and I don't know how to describe to you why this has been one of the most pivotal sets of 10 days I have ever passed through.

I read 30 pages of a book and, as a result, need to decide whether I want to have children.


I'm back into the rush of the strange and contradicting lifestyle of a student. 
High and winged questions
?
the definition of Success
the values of responsibility versus risk
what true Investment means, and whether investing has something to do with money
what it means to be poor, and if there is a role for the poor
rather than simply a place for the poor
(the ill have a place, but not a role.)
?
High and winged questions pass through my mind

my mind
-- a subway station where passengers never arrive anywhere, but only accumulate, annoyed
haha. a constipated subway station

All the while, I am a fry cook of assignments.  read 130 pages check study for japanese quiz check socialize check two page paper check

pulse

check

Trust in Where You Are

remember the music
festival we went
t(w)o

summers ago?

we sat but couldn't
listen, distracted
by the other's silence.
you handed me
a AA battery
and I held it
(I didn't know if there was any
life left in it.)

you did not know
I had just come from
breaking apart and starting to heal
(in the way that you only can in
the arms of a stranger
beneath
a red striped tent)
from
some advice I was lent
from
a guitar wearing a girl
(and the skirt I was wearing was sprinkled
with

the stuff that leaks out

when you find
you're not supposed to be fixed,
just loved.
you realize
you're not supposed to fix,
just love.)

you had handed me
a AA battery,
I don't know if there's any more
life left in
it
sits in a box up high
next to dust animals and
some ribbon.